Once upon a time at the top of the south ……….. (isn’t that how all stories start?)
Emily gave me a call wanting to give up smoking. As I normally do, I quizzed her to make absolutely sure she was totally committed to quitting the habit. I explained that I was more of a facilitator than a magician, and unless she really was determined I might not be able to help her. But no, she said, she was absolutely determined.
When she walked through my door, I saw that she was an older person, beautifully dressed, immaculate hair and nails – but she had a smoker’s face and voice. And then her story came out.
She had been very happily married for many years. Both she and her husband had given up smoking together some time ago. And then he suddenly died of a major heart attack on her birthday. She was so distraught at the loss of her long-time friend and companion that she turned to her old friend, the cigarette, knowing as she did so, that she would be sorry – but at the time, just didn’t care.
Now, a few years later, she had met Mike, an ex-smoker convert. They hit it off straight away, enjoying the same things, eating out, going to movies together and, as Mike had a caravan, they started travelling all around the South Island.
However, after a few months, she found that Mike was starting to make excuses not to meet, he was too busy, he had to work, the car had broken down…..
Emily was so sad and depressed. She tried to find out what was wrong, she phoned, sent texts, emails, but all to no avail. As she explained, maybe she could have faced whatever it was, if only she knew what he was thinking. Of course, although she had cut down, cigarettes once again became her comfort.
And then one day she ran into an old friend of Mike’s. They had a cup of coffee together and Emily poured her heart out. It was only at that point that Mike’s friend, so embarrassed, explained that the reason Mike was no longer seeing Emily was that he was finding her smell of stale tobacco, and, even worse, the perfume she was wearing to hide this smell, was making him feel utterly sick. And, being a nice guy and knowing what she had been through with her husband, just could not bring himself to ask her to quit the smoking habit.
So this is the point at which Emily realised that she really had to give up. So she tried all the conventional drugs and patches, which just made her sleep badly, have bad dreams, and feel nauseous. But nothing seemed to work. After all, apart from a brief interlude, she had been a smoker all her adult life.
One day, she ran into an old friend whom she had not seen for some time, and, surprised by how well he looked, asked him what he was doing. He explained that he had come to see me to give up smoking, and told me about the success Ntrance was having in helping people to quit. Her friend had even started running agin! As an absolute last ditch attempt, she gave me a call and came to see me. Unfortunately, as I write, the story does not have a totally happy ending. Yes, she did give up, surprised at how easy it had been, but, a couple of months later, was still not back with Mike. But she still was hopeful…
