I get this question asked on a regular basis but more often recently as things like job security, price inflation and geopolitics seem to be getting more and more real. They are intruding into our comfort zones and exposing us to levels of stress that we are perhaps not used to or that we haven’t got all the tools needed to cope with.
My answer though is “Yes, hypnosis can help with anxiety.” I want to stress here that hypnosis is not a magical cure-all for what ails you. There are times when I flat out tell potential clients that they are not going to get the results that they are looking for with me and that I’m not willing to take their money.
So “can hypnosis help me with my situation?” is perhaps a better question. When I get asked that question I usually respond with “Are you willing to change?” Let me explain. At it’s heart, hypnotherapy is about accepting and adopting change, it’s not about moving mountains; it’s about climbing them for the view. It’s not about changing the course of rivers but instead finding a place to settle beside them. It’s about finding a path forward and sometimes, that path is surprising.
Hypnosis will not solve your problems, but it will often allow you to find a way to solve them for yourself. It doesn’t ‘manifest’ solutions or give you the answers. So “are you willing to change?” is the real question that matters.
As an example, I had a lady come to me because her in-laws had lost their business and had to move in with her. This was extremely stressful for her because she felt the house wasn’t really big enough for everyone and because she felt that her partner always took his mother’s side.
Now obviously, because I’m not a magician I couldn’t make her in-laws move on. I couldn’t make her house bigger either. The only thing I could offer was to help her to change for herself and luckily, she was willing to do so. There were some barriers in front of her. She had held a grudge ever since her wedding when she felt that they disapproved of her. She had been upset that they had to put remodeling plans for the house on hold. She resented her mother-in-law always trying to ‘help ‘ in the kitchen.
She was willing to change, though and that was what she needed. Under hypnosis, she had a long hard look at herself and decided that something had to be done. There were a number of different options in front of her that she hadn’t been willing to see. They ranged from leaving her partner to finding a new house and more.
I didn’t tell her what to do, I just gave her the distance to reflect on her situation and find her own path. She surprised me with the solution that she found.
She discovered empathy for her in-laws when she realised how scared they were with their own uncertain situation. She realised what a bind her partner was in, feeling trapped between the two most important women in his life. She discovered that she actually quite liked her father-in-law. Most importantly for her, she came to realize just how much power she had over the situation.
She decided that she could set aside her grievances, she felt that they were petty for someone who held all the cards and she didn’t want to be that person. She left that first session with a newfound sense of purpose and focus.
When I saw her again a few weeks later, she was like a new person. She told me that she had called a family meeting and held fast when the conversation threatened to derail a few times. She laid out her concerns without getting angry or upset. She came to accept that here and her mother-in-law were never going to be best friends but they had a shared love of her partner. She found out that their clashes in the kitchen were just an attempt to be useful, created by a fear of being kicked out. Apparently a lot of bad feelings were aired and resolved.
Anyway, two weeks later her father-in-law was fixing their bathroom, apparently, he was a bit of a handyman..Her mother-in-law and she had a roster for cooking which meant that she had started date nights with her partner again while they looked after their youngest child. Their house had never looked cleaner and they were finally in a place where they could look to move forward again.
Hypnosis isn’t magic and a solution was always there, right in front of her. She couldn’t see it but she was willing to change and, in the end, that was what was needed.
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