Have you ever been in a situation where you were paralysed with fear? Maybe you heard unusual noises in the house late at night, or you saw a mouse or a spider. What about finding yourself at the top of a very high building or approached by a dog who didn’t even show any signs of aggression? Or a fear of needles, chickens, clowns, wasps: the list of these fears is endless. And if you weren’t actually paralysed with fear, maybe you were just very frightened. I even have a friend who won’t enter a swimming pool as she is terrified of sharks.
So I was not at all surprised when a few months ago a lovely lady, Janice, walked into my hypno room, having called me to see whether I could help her with anxiety. She was suffering acute fear of enclosed spaces which spread into every aspect of her life. A high flying professional, she was unable to attend board meetings, as she felt hemmed in by all the colleagues around the table. Flying was a nightmare. She could no longer go the cinema or theatre, activities she used to love. Even playing netball held terrors for her. And now she had been asked to give a presentation on a subject very dear to her, but it involved a flight to the North Island. She thought of taking the ferry, but the very idea of walking up the ramp with hundreds of others made her terrified.
The first thing I asked her was “What is your goal by coming to see me?” Of course, it was obvious. She wanted to feel ‘normal’, to be able to work in a small space, to be able to fly without taking so much medication that she felt like a zombie for 2 or 3 days after.
And the funny thing is, she knew that logically her fear and anxiety were utterly irrational and unnecessary. But however many times she told herself this, and spoke firmly to herself, the fear never went away. In fact, as the years went on, she became worse and worse. She knew she had to do something, it had gone too far. She had recently even had to ask a Sounds Air plane to stop at the end of the runway; she was in such a state of panic and fear. This incident involved a large fine.
So why was this happening to her? She had no idea, she only knew that unless she got to grips with this fear, it would carry on growing, and where would it stop? Irrational fears tend to snowball until they take over completely.
When people come to me with these fears, often the origin of the irrational fear is a belief that doesn’t even stem from them. They might be a parent’s belief, or a teacher’s or a partner’s. The chances are that unless it is something obvious, like having been attacked by a dog, the person has no idea. But irrational and unnecessary beliefs and fears are just like soap bubbles, they can be popped.
So by taking Janice into a deeply relaxed state, she discovered in herself a strength she never knew she had. Like the vast majority of people, Janice had within herself all the resources and understanding to solve her problems; all I had to do was point her in the right direction.
As she left my room, she said she felt as though she was floating, and felt more relaxed than she had for many years. Never again will Janice suffer from fear of enclosed spaces and flying. And in fact, I recently spoke to her and, in her words: Conquering fear ”Thank you, Chris, you have changed my life”.
